Photo Courtesy of Lynn Obermoeller at Present Letters |
Producer and star of her own series, Miriam is excited about the first day of filming at Pristine River. Her brother Mike agreed to be her cameraman. Miriam walked to the beautiful campsite with a backpack full of standard camping gear and a fishing pole.
Setting up camp on the flat rock, Miriam notices fresh cougar tracks on the bank. Hearing her name being called, Miriam looks around to see Mike’s best friend Jeff; but no Mike. Oh, great, now what? Jeff may be gorgeous, but he drives her crazy. Miriam wonders if she has a better chance fighting off the cougar. (150)
You guys, I rewrote this three times. The second time was better for the story, but wasn't so much a blurb and explaining the idea for the show, so I redid it. I decided to post it here too because it focused more on Miriam's feelings for Jeff. (Except that her name is Sarah there.) To sum them up, it is like the line in Jim Croce's song Operator: "A man she knew well and sometimes hated." Miriam also has a pet wolf named Aslan., who helps do things like protecting her from cougars. Mike broke his ankle, and that is why he couldn't make it to the first day of filming. Here is a copy of that version. Which story do you like best?
This post is part of Lisa Richard Claro's Writing in the Buff's Book Blurb Friday! Read the instructions below and give it a try ... it's fun and challenging, and if I can do it, YOU can do it.
I am participating in Lisa's Book Blurb Friday, from over at Writing in the Buff. It is fun, and you can play too! Pretend that the picture on the top of this post is the cover of a book. On the inside jacket, you have 150 words to entice the reader to buy your book. Lisa gives us a week to think about next week's entry (she's gracious like that). Please CLICK HERE to read what everybody else wrote!
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18 comments:
Oooh, adventure and romance! Exactly how gorgeous IS Jeff? LOL Great blurb. I love the premise, Kathy. Very creative!
I MUCH prefer human conflict to that with nature - and look forward to hearing about tussles with the tantalising Jeff ... but where did Mike disappear to?
Definitely one to buy.
I am so UNable to write romance, so I am always a bit green when I encounter writers who CAN.
I think you have a great idea for a new book AND a marvelous idea for a new reality TV show.
I liked your premise and had to smile. Roamnce in the woods, or perhaps a twist? I'd read it.
Kathy I love how you have the idea to turn this into a reality show. I want to know more!
A gorgeous man who's not your cup of tea just might turn out to be a cup of poison. Maybe Miriam will discover a more attractive side to him - or not.
Girls gone camping. Hehehe. Brilliant.
I haven't done a book blurb today. Too far behind with everything :(
Hi Everybody - Thanks so much for your comments. I decided to add on to this post ... see if you like the other version better.
The non-appearance of Mike, rather than his disappearance makes more sense, for me. I'd still want to know LOTS about Jeff & Sarah (and hope the cougar just walks off somewhere else!)
I think I like the second one much better. Seemed to get my attention faster and with more demanding questions in my mind...and I am not crazy about reality shows, so I might be biased!
I prefer the second one, too. It's much tighter, more inviting:-)
There both good, but I think the second one sounds better too! Nice job.
Kathy, wow you came up with two? I couldn't even get to the end of one! I had a camping idea too, except it was about my protagonist hating to camp! (like me, I'm a city girl!!)
I like the second one better although I love the kicker in the first "Jeff may be gorgeous, but he drives her crazy. Miriam wonders if she has a better chance fighting off the cougar."
Love how it sounds like it has a little bit of everything--nature, mystery, romance. Very tantalizing!
I like number 2 better, much better. (Maybe because of your descriptions?) Oh, and btw, now I have the song in my head! (And did you have to make her a blond? LOL! )
Kathy,
I really like the second one although there were parts of #1 that I liked also (the will she won't she like Jeff?) Really good writing especially the presmise of the reality show being produced. Exellent!
BTW, I love your header, it makes me want to step into the picture!
~Jean
I think I prefer the second one. And we're big fans of those shows here. Even my 6-year-old likes them.
Hi Everybody!
Thanks for coming back if you had to do that ... and thanks to you all for your opinions. I like the second one too ... I worked on it for about 4 days. Still not quite sure why I changed everything at the last minute.
Have a wonderful week!
Kathy
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