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| Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy ~ Kathy Matthews |
It Is Good To Be Queen
by Kathy Matthews
Tipper Montgomery had a hectic work-life and a horrible home-life. She worked as an intern at the U of O Museum of Art, and she was married to a verbally abusive man.
Tipper looked so forward to her bit of peace and quiet during each workday, and dreaded the weekends, where there was none. During her lunch breaks, Tipper could be found sitting under the crown on a chair in the museum courtyard with her Bible and inspirational books, trying becoming a better person. Not that there was much wrong with her to begin with, but her husband sure thought so.
One day, as she turned the corner to her special spot, Tipper stopped short. There was her husband with a weird smile on his face, sitting in her chair, with a gun aimed right at her.
"Hello, Queen."
Those were the last words that Tipper heard before losing consciousness. (150)
Okay, I'm going to get on my soap-box here for a second. With Joshua Powell killing his wife Susan, and then blowing up his sons Charlie and Braden along with himself last weekend, please let this be a wake-up call if you are in an abusive relationship.
Many verbally abused women will say, "Well, at least he doesn't hit me." Well, how do you know for sure that he won't do that or worse some day? These things progress over time. If you feel that you and/or your children are in an unsafe environment, you have to reach out for help. Here are a couple of links to Oregon Domestic Violence agencies, Saving Grace and Womenspace. Just Google "domestic violence shelters" in your area to find local information.
It is not your responsibility to save your man from himself. Abusers lose their rights. Even if you are not of the Christian belief, remember that the Bible says that husbands are to treat their wives as Christ treats his church. This means that they are supposed to treat their wives good, not bad. Manipulators and control freaks come from all walks of life. Just because they choose to behave that way doesn't mean that you have to accept their bad behavior and stay their victim. These relationships are very complex, and change is not easy. As with anything, admitting that there is a problem is the first step. I'm just sayin'.
God bless,
Kathy M.
Okay, I'm going to get on my soap-box here for a second. With Joshua Powell killing his wife Susan, and then blowing up his sons Charlie and Braden along with himself last weekend, please let this be a wake-up call if you are in an abusive relationship.
Many verbally abused women will say, "Well, at least he doesn't hit me." Well, how do you know for sure that he won't do that or worse some day? These things progress over time. If you feel that you and/or your children are in an unsafe environment, you have to reach out for help. Here are a couple of links to Oregon Domestic Violence agencies, Saving Grace and Womenspace. Just Google "domestic violence shelters" in your area to find local information.
It is not your responsibility to save your man from himself. Abusers lose their rights. Even if you are not of the Christian belief, remember that the Bible says that husbands are to treat their wives as Christ treats his church. This means that they are supposed to treat their wives good, not bad. Manipulators and control freaks come from all walks of life. Just because they choose to behave that way doesn't mean that you have to accept their bad behavior and stay their victim. These relationships are very complex, and change is not easy. As with anything, admitting that there is a problem is the first step. I'm just sayin'.
God bless,
Kathy M.
Thanks to Ashley for the cool photo she took! If you would like to read my other Book Blurb Friday posts, scroll down the side-bar on the left hand side until you get to this picture:
I am participating in Lisa's Book Blurb Friday, from over at Writing in the Buff. It is fun, and you can play too! Pretend that the picture on the top of this post is the cover of a book. On the inside jacket, you have 150 words to entice the reader to buy your book. Lisa gives us a week to think about next week's entry (she's gracious like that). Please CLICK HERE on Friday to read what everybody else wrote!
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4 comments:
Chilling blurb, and timely expression of concern. It seems the world is mad, doesn't it? I've read, of course, about the cycle of violence and abuse, and how women will stay in these relationships. I can't understand it, but I do feel sorry for those women who feel trapped. I wonder what the answer is? This is not a new problem.
As Lisa says, not a new problem and one that, in theory at least, ought to be easier to escape nowadays, but whatever compulsion - lack of self-esteem or sexual attraction often - keeps them there needs that final deciion to be made.
Great book blurb, Kathy, and a message every person should read, because verbal abuse can work both ways. We might never understand the problem, but we can carry the message that the problem exists.
Thanks. And I'd buy this book.
K
You created such a haunting image with this blurb that I would buy the book for that alone. And then your message....The truth is that abusers often do make sure the abused really are pretty trapped. In my case, he wiped out or hid every account he could. And the unfortunate truth is that our legal system does not favor the poor, especially in family court where no lawyers are provided free of charge. I will never forget the way he grinned when he told me I couldn't leave, because I had nowhere to go and he had everything. Not quite. I had the love of my children, friends I cherish, the truth, and God. I might end up destitute someday, but it's much, much better than living like that. Thank you so much for your message, Kathy. It's one that needs to be told over and over.
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