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Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Adjusting Your Angle:

One of my friends that I went to high school with wrote on her Facebook status that she was having a horrible day as the result of a family member's actions.  Several people left encouraging comments and offered up their prayers and thoughts.  She thanked them and said that their friendship was very much appreciated.

It started me thinking about how hard it is to be in the middle of a mess that really isn't your fault.  It isn't your fault, but is there something you can do to help make the situation better?

One definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again expecting different results.  If that is the case, when you keep trying to make things better and nothing changes, then maybe you need to move your part of the triangle.

Let's say there are three people involved.  Pretend each person is one of the angles.   Nothing will change and everything will continue, unless somebody scoots over and interrupts the continuity.  You only have control over your own actions, so, even if it does not seem fair, it is up to you to begin the change.  See, like this:

Your shift will cause the others to shift, whether they want to or not.  Plus, you have taken a step of power, a step towards taking care of yourself.  You can expect resistance, but oh well, maybe the offending person has taken away too much power from others in order to continue their behavior.  And, they like it that way, at the time.

Sometimes there are more than three people involved.  Let's say there is a fourth person, and a square is formed:

Same idea as the triangle, but maybe the fourth person is just standing back and unknowingly making things worse.  In being supportive of the other two people against the one messing things up, this fourth person keeps bringing up past injustices and other things.  If you are the fourth person, it is a good thing to shift your angle, move over and let it go.  This is not easy.  Start by just not talking bad about the offending person.  That can be hard enough, but effective.  Even harder is praying for the one messing things up.  It may not change them, but it will change you.  If you don't pray, at least do not send negative energy their way.  It is not easy, but I do believe it works.

Just remember, adjusting your angle forces change.  It may not happen quickly, but it is a start.  Try hard to let go and go on.  Good luck!

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