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~ Kathy M.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Relationships: Controlling People

I put this "copy and paste" on Facebook yesterday and received around 7 thumbs up and 10 comments.  Others could relate to it, apparently.


"There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and those who create it, and surround yourself with people who want the best for you, who make you laugh hard and who just plain make you happy ... a time to focus solely on the good.  After all, life is too short to be anything but happy and full of joy."


Lately I have been thinking about things.  About how lucky I am to married to a man who loves and respects me, who has the confidence and self-esteem to let me grow, learn, and become a stronger woman...a more complete Kathy Matthews.  And because of the opportunities that he has given me, and the value that he holds for me, I grow more complete every day.  I try my very best to do the same for him, because I love him so much.  We make a very good and productive team, my best friend husband and I.


There are other forces, people, etc. though, in my life, who seem to think that I need to be kept down, put in my place, who undermine my efforts, take credit for my ideas, are jealous, those who tell me who my friends can be, or whatever the particular issue happens to be ... and I do not like it.  One bit.


Throughout my life there have been those who have mistaken my kindness for weakness, but then when they discover my inner strength and stubbornness they hate it.  I am not easy to control, when it comes right down to it.  I don't like getting into trouble, and try to do things the right way the first time, thinking through my decisions and words carefully.  This makes me resistant and sensitive to those who try to manipulate me.


I keep thinking of lines from two different songs as I write this.  The first is from Leather and Lace: "I have my own life, and I am stronger than you know."  The second is from Sunshine:  "Some man's gone, he's trying to run my life, he don't know what he's asking .... he can't even run his own life, I'll be damned if he'll run mine!" 


My Mom has always said, well, just pray for people like that, it is the best thing you can do.  I didn't always do that very faithfully, to tell you the truth, it was easier to be angry and upset than to pray for them!   Recently, my friend April said, pray this prayer:  "Lord, heap blessings on this person's life.  I pray for their relationships, health, spirit and salvation.  I pray for everything to be revealed and for ALL to see.  In Jesus name, amen."  April said it was a very powerful prayer, and that I would see results immediately.  She was right.  Especially about the revelation part of the prayer.  At least my own eyes were opened.  Of course, because God is involved I was in for some surprises too.  Sometimes when you begin to see the whole picture, more and more unfairness is actually there than you first thought.


I don't really know what to do, or how long it will take until my issues with some of the people in my life are be resolved.  I do know that I am not going to "shut-up and put-up" or "just get used to it, nothing is ever going to change".  I have this thing about injustice, especially when it is directed toward me or my husband.  I guess the best defense is a great offense, and if I keep praying April's prayer and following the quote I put on Facebook, that I will keep moving forward.


I did learn one thing about myself after my second divorce from a man who tried to control and manipulate me for 12 years ... when I'm done, I'm done.  I try hard to make things work and don't give up easily, but with me, when you are written off, you are written off for good.  End of story.


"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.  

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." 

 John 10:10




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