This is how I felt yesterday. I hit my Christmas Wall. The day after our company Christmas party, I could hardly get off the couch. I was just plain tuckered out. That said, I went to bed at 8:30, and barely drank any wine. (I kept forgetting where I left my Jimmy Buffett cup while playing hostess and flitting around from place to place!) Everybody had fun and helped me, but it is still a lot of work when the time to eat comes. I know our guests appreciated everything, because they kept telling me so, and I was happy to have organized the whole affair. And happy for a generous husband who financed it all.
I am thinking about the Christmas season, and how much work, energy and effort goes into it around here. And money. This year, I have really tried to outsmart and minimize my Christmas stress. I started early, gathering materials to make stuff throughout the year. I have been making scarfs all year long, for instance. I am trying to spend less money by making gifts. All that was fun, actually, at the time, and I felt like I was doing well. Maybe I still am, but I am feeling a bit worn out. I hope that my second wind will arrive today.
I like the decorating part, and now that we have an artificial tree, the putting up and taking down of the tree is relatively easy. I have no definite time line, because this tree is not a fire hazard. And, the lights are already on it. That's good, it minimizes some Christmas stress.
Still, I wonder, what is the real reason why I go all out? I used to do it because I really wanted to, and I had my own little kids who where caught up in the magic of Santa and the celebration of the birth of Baby Jesus. I still want to make people happy and bless them with the spirit of Christmas, but now, I feel like it is also a teaching thing to the younger generations in our big family. Making memories. Traditions handed down, stuff like that. I'm trying to not forget what it was like when I was a little girl, and how special Christmas was to me, and then pass what I do on to others. I want to share my ideas or something like that, I guess. Maybe Christmas is just my job?
"Good, better, best, never let it rest, until the good is better and the better's best."
"To who a lot is given, a lot is expected of."
"Make me a servant, humble and meek, that I may lift up, those who are weak."
Sometimes I wish I had been given easier "life mottos". However, I am happy to do what I am feeling led to do; it is just that sometimes I hit my wall. I don't really know the reasons why I do it, or what the outcome of my Christmas hard work will be, but I just keep trying my best to serve and love, and to encourage those in my life, even when I get tired and feel like crying at the thought of doing more.
I love my rewards though, which come at unexpected times. At the company Christmas party, our nephew Casey and his wife Savanna arrived unexpectedly with their two little ones, CJ, 3 1/2 and Courtney, 2. They will be moving to Italy for three years in early January. When they walked through the door, CJ stopped short at the sight of the big tree and said, "WOW!". That made working on the tree very worth it to me, to see CJ wholeheartedly appreciate my efforts. Out of the mouth of babes!
After further reflection, I think this Jimmy Buffett song also sums it up for me pretty well. Celebrating the best Christmas possible is my job.
It's My Job:
Coconut Telegraph IT'S MY JOB
By Mac McAnally
In the middle of late last night I was sittin' on a curb
I didn't know what about but I was feeling quite disturbed
A street sweeper came whistlin' by
He was bouncin' every step
It seemed strange how good he felt
So I asked him while he swept
Chorus:
He said "It's my job to be cleaning up this mess
And that's enough reason to go for me
It's my job to be better than the rest
And that makes the day for me"
Got an uncle who owns a bank he's a self made millionaire
He never had anyone to love never had no one to care
He always to seemed kind of sad to me
So I asked him why that was
And he told me it's because in my contract there's a clause
That says "It's my job to worried half to death
And that's the thing people respect in me
It's a job but without it I'd be less
Than what I expect from me"
I've been lazy most all of my life
Writing songs and sleeping late
Any manual labor I've done purely by mistake
If street sweepers can smile then
I've got no right to feel upset
But sometimes I still forget
Till the lights go on and the stage is set
And the song hits home and you feel that sweat
It's my job to be different than the rest
and that's enough reason to go for me
It's my job to be better than the best
and that's a tough break for me
It's my job to be cleaning up this mess
and that's enough reason to go for me
It's my job to be better than the best
and that makes the day for me
I've always maintained that my life's philosophy is a blend of the Bible and Jimmy Buffett. Don't laugh, they are not always that far apart.
Thank you, Baby Jesus.
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